Sunday, November 24, 2013

Life With Baby Doll: A Gay Man’s Love Runs Deeper

WARNING:  The links contained within this post will take you to sites with content for mature readers only.  However, this post is suitable for a PG audience. 

This week’s Life With Baby Doll post is a follow-up to an installment that I wrote on November 10th titled,  A Gay Man’s Love.
Tomorrow morning, November 25th, I will once again be giving Baby Doll into the hands of another man, having to trust that he will care for my partner.  That man is the same ophthalmologist who will be performing cataract surgery on John’s left eye.
The cataract surgery John underwent on his right eye, November 11th, was considered a success.  At his follow-up appointment, one day post-op, his eyesight had improved by sixty percent.  We were told that as the healing process continued, so would a clarity in his vision.
While I feel more confident in the fact that we both know what to expect, I am still experiencing the same nervous apprehension that I had two weeks ago.  Regardless of how many times John goes under the knife, even for routine procedures, I know I will always feel the same.  My emotions are manifested in the deep love that Baby Doll and I share, and the other health conditions that my partner struggles with.
One thing I have always tried to do is humanize myself with my readers. Recently, John and I had a conversation with a family member.  We were casually discussing Baby Doll’s cataract surgery success, and they could not fathom everything we had been through as a couple since May of this past year.  I was specifically asked how I had remained strong, given everything that I had watched my partner experience.  This individual said they didn’t know if they could  have handled the circumstances that John and I shared, and still remained sane.
To briefly describe Baby Doll’s heath issues since May, he continues to struggle with a diagnosis of unspecified auto-immune disorder, and the ongoing nerve damage in his neck, arms, fingers, and lower back due to a fall in 2000.  In addition, he has psoriasis over ten percent of his body, that recently led to a new diagnosis of suspected psoriatic arthritis.  His doctor’s are not sure, but theorize that the auto-immune disorder was responsible for reducing his kidney function to less than sixty-percent this summer.  As a result, he had to undergo hemodialysis four days per week.  Also in June, he developed a severe mouth infection, believed to be a rare side effect of the nephrology drugs he was taking.  John had to have all of his teeth extracted and started to wear his new dentures in late October.  During this time, his eye sight began to fail as cataracts in both eyes had reached stage 4.  Finally, while Baby Doll is on the road to recovery with his kidneys (barring another flare), his dental heath, and vision, he still suffers from the chronic conditions of the auto-immune disorder and nerve damage.
In responding to the family member, I mentioned the deep emotional and physical bonds that John and I share.  We’ve always been each other’s strengths.  While I am the more dominant one in our relationship, I will admit that I do have a few weaknesses. In those moments, John has always be there for me.  So now my readers may ask, why has a protector, provider, and top such as yourself  found yourself in situations where you needed rescuing?  My flamboyant gay baby has rescued me more than once.  How often?  Well, I’ll just keep those numbers a secret, as I wouldn’t want to destroy my top status.
This summer, and currently, as Baby Doll has looked to me for comfort and strength, I realized just how deep a gay man’s love can run for his partner. After twenty-two years together, I didn’t think it was possible to reach any deeper level of commitment.  Yes, it is possible.  John and I  are so intermingled emotionally, sexually, and spiritually, that  the only description I can write is one of a feeling of coming home.
As always, I usually try to plan something special for the two of us before any emotionally taxing event.  John has come to expect this, and seeing his excitement in the last few days has been very erotic for me.  His subtle flirts convey his unspoken need to feel my touch. All I have told him is that we are having an early dinner tonight.  That turned into the brief conversation that we shared this morning.
Why an early dinner?  Baby Doll asked.

“John, you know why.  I’m taking you somewhere private to make love to you.  What I’ve got planned involves a bed, your body beneath mine, and our hearts joined.”

“Andrew, are you using lines again from your stories to try and make me submit to you?”

“Yes, I am.”

Lying in bed cuddled close, I kissed John’s neck, as I stroked his shoulder with my fingertips.  

“Why do you have to feel so good…taste sweet…and make my love run this deep for you?  Hmm, Baby Doll?”

“Do you not enjoy it?”

“No, I enjoy it too much, that’s the problem.  Being with you, John, is like coming home.”
Be sure to read next week’s post, as I talk about where John and I are going tonight, and share in the intense and passionate love affair that has formed the basis for this series.
To learn more about this series and find a recent list of archives visit:  Life With Baby Doll.  More will be added, as I continue to update this new site. Due to the increasing popularity of these posts, I have created the permanent tab on my Website that contains information concerning the intense and passionate love affair that I share with my partner, John Jericho.
I enjoy hearing from all of my readers, and look forward to your e-mails.  Remember Love is Love…Period.
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photo credit: Pablo Montt via photopin cc
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Andrew K Kinley is a ManLove erotic romance author for Siren-Bookstrand Publishing  and LGBTQ rights activist based in Hot Springs, AR.  All of his work can be found at:  A K Kinley.  For questions or comments please e-mail him at

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