Reader Questions: Are you in the BDSM Lifestyle?

WARNING:  The links contained within this post will take you to sites with content for mature readers only.  However, this post is suitable for a PG audience. 

Andrew K Kinley ~ March 9, 2014

The e-mail excerpt below was written by a reader who stated he not only enjoys my writing, but recently started following my Life With Baby Doll series.

“Are you into BDSM?  I seen you say that you are a dominant man and that John submits.  You’ve also said that you both have a “top/bottom dynamic.”

My readers know that I welcome questions and comments as long as they are not hate-filled or tasteless.  Since this man’s e-mail was neither, I decided to reply.  I am sharing my response to him, in the event that others may have had asked a similar question.

No, John and I do not practice the BDSM lifestyle.  However, my partner and I do support and respect the decisions of those who do, in addition to the many other types of relationship dynamics that are present in our society.  John and I believe that everyone has the right, and privacy, to choose what they feel it best for themselves and their partner(s).  There is no right, or wrong way, to be involved in any relationship.  In saying that, I feel that love and trust are the most important aspects between two or more consenting adults.  

I am not an expert in BDSM,  but I do know that the words dominant, submissive, top, and bottom are used within the lifestyle. While I am dominant, or a man with a dominant personality if you will, I am not a Dom and John is not my Sub.  As with many others phrases, I assume that they have different meanings for each individual and in the context of their usage. The words you mentioned have also been a part of the LGBTQ community for as long as I can remember.  I’ve been an adult gay male since the age of seventeen.  Within the circles that John and I ran with in the early nineties those phrases were in existence.

In closing, as you continue to read the Life With Baby Doll series, I hope you will gain a better understanding of the relationship that John and I share.   From the early moments of our relationship, it was an unspoken bond that I would be his protector, provider, and top as I’ve loved him both emotionally and physically with a tender dominance. I’ve always considered myself to be a tender and patient lover.  Perhaps, that’s why I coined the term, tender dominance, to begin with.

The  Reader Questions series will be shared on my Website periodically when I feel that an e-mail offers a opportunity for me to share information with others.  To view more posts in this series, visit:  Reader Questions.

I enjoy hearing from all of my readers, and look forward to your e-mails. Remember Love is Love…Period. 

  

Andrew K Kinley  is a ManLove erotic romance author for Siren-BookStrand Publishing  and LGBTQ rights activist based in Hot Springs, AR.  All of his work can be found at:  A K Kinley. For questions or comments please e-mail him at authorakkinley@gmail.com.